A Difficult Subject

I just went into a clothing shop that I really like and shop in alot - will not name the shop as its irrelevant - and I came out hating myself and the world. Here's what happened:

I have a huge event to attend to on Saturday night and I want to look as good as I can. I walk into the shop and pick up a dress that I like and in my usual size 16 - yes they actually had an item I liked in a size 16, that in itself was something to celebrate! Anyway, grab the dress and head straight to the change room, try it on and oh my god; its too big! 'Awesome!' I think to myself. So I quickly take it off, and go out and grab a size 14 with excitment that I am back to that size....

I try the dress on; I look like a stuffed muffin and the dress is way too small... FOR FUCK SAKE!!! I went from being elated that I had dropped a dress size to being depressed and contemplating never eating again, in the space of 10 minutes. So now I am really pissed off and depressed, but most of all, I am CONFUSED. What size am I? Where do I find clothes that will fit me? Where is that one shop that sells clothes that are meant to fit me and only me? Why can't I just be a 'normal' shape and be a 'normal' size? Why can't I just walk into any shop I want and just find something I like that actually fits me without coming out more depressed than ever and thinking I'm the one body in this world that is a weird shape I'll never find a brand or clothing line that caters to my needs/hips/bum/thighs? AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am BEGGING someone who is reading this post to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE design a clothing line that is for women who are sized 14-18 who have hips for baby making, a flat bum and muscly thighs - that doesn't have the words "big" "curvy" or "large" and PLEASE be cool! Is that too much to ask?

I can't remember a time I was ever happy with my weight and it's something I will battle with for the rest of my life, but just for once I want to feel good about my body and not be restricted to shopping in the big girls section or always having to go the back of the rack, only to be disappointed YET AGAIN that their biggest size is a 14 - and even that looks like it should be a size 12.

*Sigh. 

The Belly

I'm just gonna post some pics that I kinda like, and that I took myself. Hope you like :)

SOUNDWAVE 2012

Yesterday I worked at Soundwave festival in Melbourne and I got to have a reunion with my 16 year old self when I finally got to see Limp Bizkit and Slipknot live - who were my favourite bands in high school. Yep; these crazy fucks were my idols ------>

I know most people will not understand why I was so excited to see these guys - but the whole time I was watching them I had a smile on my face - I think it was the 16 year old Karlie giving me a thank you hug. 

The other moment that I'll never forget was when Limp Bizkit addressed the crowd to remember the teenage girl that died of a heart attack whilst watching them at Big Day Out 2001. A young, innocent Limp Bizkit fan was in the crowd watching her favourite band, when she was crushed against thousands of people, unable to breath and unable to move. Lead singer Fred Durst says about that day:

I have to say this was the most memorable and touching part of LB's set. I was at the Melbourne big day out in 2001 when I heard the news that LB were refusing to play anymore shows as Durst was too emotionally scarred to go on. It was a really sad time in history. 

R.I.P. Jessica and well done to LB for coming back to finish what they started and dedicated their shows to Jess - who no doubt was watching from side of stage yesterday. 

Jessica took this photo on the day she passed away, in the crowd.